november pages

I had a terrible time shooting

this spread

dear reader..

it was almost as if it did not want to be

seen..

it came up shiny...

so I gave it a coat of matte gel medium...

then the rain came 

and I was forced to use the flash...

which made it shinier!

and now with the sun shining

the glare is worse...

I finally took out my phone, shot it

and sent them to iphoto...

to understand this spread I have a little story for you...

I was asked to write a little something that I was grateful for

for Thanksgiving...

This is what I wrote and this is what my pages are about..

Last year on the 4^th of July, we hosted a BBQ for my husband’s brother and wife. They wanted to pick up a load of gravel that we had left over from our garden project. I remember watching the brothers sweating, working to load it up into the pickup truck. It was a hard job but they were both healthy and strong. They were laughing, talking, teasing the way brothers do. It was a joyous day… good food, love and warm weather. But by November, a week after Thanksgiving, my brother in law was dead. Lung cancer had carved his name on his head stone. My thanks and overwhelming gratitude is for our health, for the aliveness that flows through me,  my husband, and is never taken for granted. I give thanks for the contrast, which makes my life sweeter and richer every day, and I know that my brother in law would be glad in it.  

ingredients: collage papers, acrylic paint, Prismacolors, 

the cross, was an important symbol for my BIL, Terry...

for me.. I see it as a plus or a positive 

I cannot believe that it is almost time for

my annual

Buon Natale post...

I will make sure I leave that with you

before I take some

time off for the Holidays...

I am grateful too

for 

YOU!

C4N!

may pages

ciao, dear readers,

it took me quite a while to finish my May journal pages.

this is the anniversary of my brothers death and though I am in a 

good frame of mind about it, it still brings up a lot of feelings for me, as I am sure that you understand.

 For those of you that are new to my blog, my brother committed suicide shortly after I started blogging. He was an alcoholic and he had recently relapsed and shot himself in the heart.

I dreamed about him.

I have been writing down my dreams for years and working with my dream symbols as a way to communicate with my soul.

In my dream he appears to me in the back yard of my last home, I have just picked up a dead bird and a dying dragon fly. I look sadly at the dead creatures and he walks up to me smiling. He is beautiful, appears young, healthy and happy. I smile at him and tell him he looks good.

I show him the dead and dying creatures and he just shrugs, smiles and waves goodbye.

I woke up feeling so very good...

very peaceful and calm...

as though everything was in perfect order...

in my dream symbology... (and I think that varies with everyone) birds represent freedom and dragonflies represent masculine transformation...

to me... the dream meant that 

 life, love is everlasting... the appearance of death is just that...

was it my brother? I think it was..

my journal is now so fat 

that I have to weigh it down in order to do my monthly spreads. I was hoping to put two years into this book, but I might not make it...

I normally shoot it and crop the two page spread, 

but I would have lost the integrity of the image if I had chosen to do that this month.

as always click on the images for detail.

my ingredients this month are: pen and ink, paper ephemera, crackle paint, H20's, pencil, walnut ink, acrylic paint, Lumiere paint, fabric, thread. 

grazie

for stopping by, your comments are so appreciated.

C4N!