Tuesday, June 5, 2012

may pages






ciao, dear readers,
it took me quite a while to finish my May journal pages.
this is the anniversary of my brothers death and though I am in a 
good frame of mind about it, it still brings up a lot of feelings for me, as I am sure that you understand.






 For those of you that are new to my blog, my brother committed suicide shortly after I started blogging. He was an alcoholic and he had recently relapsed and shot himself in the heart.

I dreamed about him.
I have been writing down my dreams for years and working with my dream symbols as a way to communicate with my soul.







In my dream he appears to me in the back yard of my last home, I have just picked up a dead bird and a dying dragon fly. I look sadly at the dead creatures and he walks up to me smiling. He is beautiful, appears young, healthy and happy. I smile at him and tell him he looks good.
I show him the dead and dying creatures and he just shrugs, smiles and waves goodbye.








I woke up feeling so very good...
very peaceful and calm...
as though everything was in perfect order...







in my dream symbology... (and I think that varies with everyone) birds represent freedom and dragonflies represent masculine transformation...

to me... the dream meant that 
 life, love is everlasting... the appearance of death is just that...
was it my brother? I think it was..






my journal is now so fat 
that I have to weigh it down in order to do my monthly spreads. I was hoping to put two years into this book, but I might not make it...
I normally shoot it and crop the two page spread, 
but I would have lost the integrity of the image if I had chosen to do that this month.







as always click on the images for detail.



my ingredients this month are: pen and ink, paper ephemera, crackle paint, H20's, pencil, walnut ink, acrylic paint, Lumiere paint, fabric, thread. 



grazie
for stopping by, your comments are so appreciated.

C4N!








27 comments:

Becca said...

Oh my! I saw your thumbnail and fell in love with this journal page! When I got here and read your post I cried. I am so very sorry for your loss. Your dream is beautiful, sad, yet comforting and what a gift to be able to express your thoughts in this artistic way. Hugs to you.

Corrine at sparkledaysstudio.com said...

Beautiful way to celebrate the love you have for your brother Cat. I honor your sadness and your ability to share with us. xox

Blue Sky Dreaming said...

These journal pages are tender and lovely as is your perfect dream. I lost my sister and have had over the years a few perfect dreams. I'm so glad your heart is at ease.

WrightStuff said...

It must be such a tough time for you, but it sounds like your subsconscious is helping you cope - as well as being able to express yourself through the beautiful pages of your journal.

Warmest wishes

Margaret said...

What a beautiful interpretation of your dream, how wonderful you can express these feelings in your art. Your work is so gentle and calm Cat, such a pleasure of you to share it with us. Mx

Sharmon Davidson said...

A lovely tribute to your brother, Cat. the images speak of beauty and loss, and they touch my heart... Love to always, xo

Tina @ TinyBear Studio said...

Love your pages - they are beautiful. That´s a beautiful dream about your brother too.

deb lewis said...

Holding you, as ever, in my thoughts and heart..xo

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

I knew I would be late getting here this week, but I finally made it. I've always felt sad when you talked about your brother. My grandmother's brother killed himself on his wife's grave on the one year anniversary of her death, so suicide is something I learned about at an early age. I always think of you when I read about suicide. I'm SO glad this is such a positive and uplifting post. It sounds like you have truly come to terms with his death. I'm thrilled for you.

audrey said...

Sweet Cat,
It is a gift that you are able to transfer your feelings onto the pages of your journal. These pages are beautiful and meaningful. I think our dreams give us a way to stay in touch with our loved ones who have gone before us. Your post is very meaningful to me today (June 6). It is my dear brother, Patrick's, birthday. How I would love him to visit me in a dream tonight. ♥ I am sorry, Cat, that you lost your brother. Brothers are special people. Their memory is carved in our hearts.
♥ audrey

lynne h said...

ah, cat... no words, but a big heart smile...

i love that you do a spread for each month. there's something very lovely in that... (as opposed to daily offerings)

love...

Mostly Turquoise said...

Hi Caterina,

Thanks for sharing your story, by word and by your lovely work. And I was so gladly surprised by the birdsong on your blog, even here on SXM it brings back feelings of summer and spring. Great!

The Sparkly Fairy said...

I am sorry to hear such sad news about your brother, its must be hard for you. I wanted to tell you how much I love this page x

Rella said...

Dearest, it's been a while since we 'chatted' and here I am quite suddenly..which we both know is NOT an accident........to greet you with love and friendship knowing the healing all too well that is a journey we have shared. I hope you are well............happy..............and doing what brings you joy, my friend. xo Rella

~*~Patty S said...

oh my dear Cat
your post and pages touch my heart to the core
and have me shedding happy tears for I feel sure it was more than a dream...
I feel sure your brother 'visited you' to let you know Love Never Dies and that all is well and that you will meet again one day

you shared this so beautifully as you always do with your gentle heart...words and creativity

thank you for sharing these gifts

hugs to you dear one...all ways!
oxo

Harnett-Hargrove said...

I feel a deep resonance with this ethereal piece. Perhaps it is the human condition shinning thru, I am supposing so. -J

winnsangels said...

Sweet, beautiful Cat ~ thank you so very much for sharing these May pages and the story beneath the surface. The pages are wonderful, as always. I especially love the dragonfly, how you present the wings.
Angels blessings Cat. xo

nancy neva gagliano said...

art's essence
healing

tenderly shared

Patti said...

Cat - thank you so much for sharing the story that makes these pages even more magnificent. You are a brave, wise woman. xo

sharon said...

I am at a loss for words Cat. You have translated your story so well onto paper....it is truly a beautiful spread, and I am so sorry for the story behind it...but I have told you so many times before how I always see the serenity behind your pieces.

priti.lisa said...

Hi Cat... what a blessing that dream was...for us all.
I love that your brother brushed death aside, like death doesn't truly exist.
I believe him! I always knew it was true!
I am happy to see the physical loss of your brother manifest into the spiritual...some where I listened to someone tell me it takes about 3 years for our beloved to revisit us...I have experienced this too.
I am happy you shared your brother's message and your journal.
Most beautiful.
Big Love♥♥♥

Jacky said...

This journal spread is so beautiful Cat ... the dragonfly for masculine transformation. Such love in this page.

Those beautiful fabric wings, and that hazy, glowing moon. All very special.

I am glad you are feeling more peace this year.

Sending love and a warm hug.

Jacky xox

Debrina said...

Hi Cat - thanks for making blog contact over at my blog :-) I've come to return the favour and let you know that I'm trying to make a concerted effort to catch up over here in blogosphere. I am so glad you record your dreams and derive meaning from them! I do too, and they can be powerful guides. I have been keeping dream journals of one sort or another for over 20 years and they never fail to inform and illuminate my daily existence. You are a kindred spirit and I am glad you had this healing dream. I had a similar dream when my best friend died after a mountaineering accident. He was my soul brother.

Marie said...

Thanks so much for sharing your healing dream. Your commemorative artwork is perfect!

Carole said...

beautiful journal :( sad story xx

Carole said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
taranova said...

Ah cat... your pages are so ethereal & poignant... i'm sure he smiles as he reads them xoxo

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