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Friday, April 30, 2010

paintings

I Think I'll Disappear Now
12 x 16

a year ago this May,
my blog was a new baby in my life...
and things were going very well...
and then I was contacted by my SIL who
informed me that my brother had
died..
he had shot himself in the heart...
now...
gentle readers...
please do not think that this post is about that,
because it isn't
it is about the paintings
that I have done as a way of healing
the piece above was painted last May...
I just naturally went into the studio and
gessoed a canvas and began to paint...
from my heart...


and then...


when I returned from
Art Fest
I was just on fire with ideas...
but I kept going back to
a canvas that I had been toying with
for over a year...


Light Rising
30 x 35


I finally finished it the other day
and realized that it was in response to my
brother's death
and the anniversary of it, in May...
isn't it amazing how the psyche
will undertake healing
whether we are
completely conscious of it or not?





above, click to see detail


a lot has happened in the past year...
and now I have 2 blogs and my Dolce Shop
if you have not seen my new blog
and I have given my Dolce Shop a new look
and filled it with new things, so check it out
as well.

as always, I am grateful to you for your readership...
I so appreciate your patronage...
and
most importantly, I value and treasure
your friendship ..

mille grazie!




48 comments:

Deborah said...

Congratulations on your lovely new blog."I think I'll Disappear Now" must be how they feel even though those of us who are left behind certainly wish they didn't. Art helps.

Laura Hegfield said...

I am so sorry to read about your brother Cat, what a terrible shock. HOW amazing it is indeed that our psyche heals over time, that your artwork has played a role in the process. These are deeply moving paintings...thank you so much for trusting us here with your gentle heart.

blessings upon you,

Laura

NuminosityBeads said...

Caterina,
Thanks for the words of support on my page. I wasn't here in blogland when the tragedy of your brother's death occurred. Thanks for sharing your healing journey with us.
It's nice to get to know you here.
Kim

Debrina said...

Beautiful, gorgeous textures Cat. It was a lovely day I found your blog and I remember you discussed your brother's death and the piece you did which made it into Sew Somerset, I think. I hope this remembering is not too hard on you Cat. Thinking of you today.

Victoria said...

I am so sorry about your brother, but also very moved by the way you have processed the emotion. Beautiful.

Karin Bartimole said...

What a beautiful and healing way to honor your brother, your grief, your healing Cat. Yes, our psyches are pretty dang amazing, and so are you, for keeping yourself so fully present and aware during your healing process. Thank you for sharing yourself with us so fully and artfully. Blessings my friend, xox K

Lori Saul said...

Your art here is beautiful and moving- I am so sorry about your loss. I am glad you were able to continue painting and somewhat heal from your art expression. Your new blog is a joy to see and experience. I look forward to visiting again!

Sophie Munns said...

Its amazing Cat how, at the time of so much sadness, there can be something else taking place that grows love and friendship and beauty and imagination and life and courage and encouragement and profound substance.
With the warmth of others around us and the space given to the joy of creating we can do so much.
And how many hearts you touch with your giving through this medium Cat!

what gift you share here!

best,
always,
Sophie xx

Amelia said...

oh bless you for sharing such a personal story. I truly believe in the power of art and creativity to heal and move onward. Powerful work here.

Congrats on the successes of your art, shop and blog, here's to another year and many more :)

Amelia.x

layers said...

its amazing how so much can happen and come together in such a short time- best wishes and more success for all your endeavors

neva gagliano said...

i see angel-like image in the Light Rising...
and
YOUR light rising in your work and blog community and resourcefulness.....such healing love you give and you receive....
IT is the answer

Kathleen Sigg said...

I'm sure you know how much this post spoke to me.

Diane said...

It's so wonderful how your art helped you this sad time in your life--just another reason to create.

Regina Dwarkasing said...

Caterina,

I think I will come back to your blog often in the days to come, for times are hard for us at present here on the island (ref. to my former posting). Your words and your example may give me ideas on how to cope with all the losses.
Thanks so much,

Regina, SXM

CARMELINA LOUNSBURY said...

Caterina...I didn't know that about you...that is tragic..

but you have used art as a healing...how wonderful the powers of art really are...

thinking of you! thanks for sharing this..

beautiful works

ciao bella
creative carmelina

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

I was stunned to read that out of the darkness of your sorrow came this lovely and inspiring work of art. It's amazing that it called to you, even as you had so many other ideas swirling in your head. Our subconscious is a funny thing. It processes what we don't consciously understand.

I'm sorry to read about your brother, but glad I got to know you over these past few months. I want you to know what an inspiration you have been and are to me, and appreciate your friendship, your art, and of course your willingness to share your life. Heal gently, dear friend.

artymess said...

dear Caterina what a terrible tragedy...I do believe that art and creativity can heal ...the paintings are besutiful they so obviously came from your soul....much love Lorna

Heavens2Betsy said...

I am so sorry for your tragic loss. Out of such devestation has come such wonderful work and you have obviously found some comfort in it. I love your Light Rising piece. The therapeutic benefits of art are unfathomable. Sending you healing wishes, Penny x

dosfishes said...

Dear Cat, I know you have written about your brother before and the way you have moved through your grief with your art all through this time has been amazing. You have given yourself the gift of healing the soul with your art. Your new blog is wonderful and your shop as always so beautiful and full of grace.

Susan Roux said...

Such a powerful post. I am so sorry to hear of your lost. In your support to all of us, you've hidden your pain. I do hope healing has been part of the process. I really like your Rising Light. Its so soft, warm and beautiful.

I wish you well...

Blue Sky Dreaming said...

I believe one of the benefits of art making is as a healing agent for broken bits of our heart. Thank you for sharing these two beautiful pieces

rivergardenstudio said...

Dear Caterina, I love this post, to hear of your healing, your sadness and your joy. The darness and the light of your paintings and collages, and watching your spring envelope you. I love watching the colors of willows too, how their branches change as winter leaves.
sending spring blessings... roxanne

~*~Patty Szymkowicz said...

Dear Cat ~ Art Does (help) Heal
this post is so beautiful, deep and hopeful
I really do not have words to express how you touch my heart!
Brightest of Blessings Always from my heart to yours
Big (((HUGS)))
oxo

alteredbits said...

i am so sorry to hear of your brother, cat. i had no idea. art does help, and your paintings are absolutely gorgeous! there is so much depth and emotion to them. to me, you've really captured what words cannot in both of them. thank you so much for such a heart warming and creative post. hugs and love to you, sweets!

Yvonne said...

So sorry about your brother. Your paintings say so much Cat. When art is from the heart, it is very moving and touching to all. Your post just touched many as well. Words and art are very powerful things.

lynne h said...

wow, cat, both of these paintings are stunning! i had no idea that you were a painter! you are very, very good...

yes, i do find it completely amazing and downright miraculous how we heal ourselves just by living our true lives. the psyche/our Selves heal while we're not looking...

xo

Suzi Smith said...

just looking at your paintings they 'feel' before even reading the words... much love xx

DymphieM said...

hugs to you. Your art is your healer, that's wonderful.

priti.lisa said...

Life does go on, doesn't it? There is a reason for everything and one day it will all be perfectly clear. In the meantime creating beauty and finding joy is a VERY worthwhile job.
One that you excel at.
Love to you, Cat.
And the 'light rising' is so spiritual it almost made me cry. Hope is a wonderful thing.

wendy lee lynds said...

dearest gal: wowwowwow. so much here. so rich, so powerful, so healing. i love both of the canvases. i find it interesting.....the one after hearin gthe news is somber and blue, one a year later? full of light. i like that........i am wondering: how is your SIL? blessings on you, my dear!!!

Julie-ann Bowden said...

So brave of you to mention about your brother. Know you are with friends. Must of been so hard for you to come to terms with. The paintings are moving. The dark one reminds me of something like a dark angel presence,coming to give calm when their is worry. The yellows in the next one brings love and friendship.
It's wonderful to se your revelations through your art. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Loads of love!

Julie

Trudi Sissons - Two Dresses Studio said...

What an emotionally moving post Cat. I have accepted the 'energies' that move through us in ways underneath our consciousness along with the synchronistic events I experience. These experiences have made me firmly believe we are all a part of one and other and it is only our egos that perceive us as separate. Your paintings are lovely in color and depth and movement. In your second piece that is in golden hues, I clearly see an angel.

Jasmine said...

Your artwork is beautiful. I have been thinking of you and how you would feel this month. Know that i am sending you a hug when ever you need one dear lady xxJ

Pilar said...

It is amazing how the spirit heals. Your beautiful piece showshealing, reconcilation, and the transcendence of love.

Lorraine said...

what we truly feel always comes out in our paintings. I like the Turner quality of these. thanks for visiting my blog and your kind comments on my poetry tote..ciao Lorraine

Ange said...

True Cat that the soul continues to heal and grow inspite (or maybe because) of what it endures over the course of a lifetime. Proof again that yes - we are more than our egos and bodies put together.
Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt post and your beautiful, moving work. I'm off now to visit your other places.
xxx Ange

ArtPropelled said...

Your paintings are so beautiful especially knowing they were a way through the turmoil of your feelings. May your art continue to heal you. Sending love.

Zom said...

It is amazing that you can paint your emotions(?) experience so directly. To have such a direct proof of healing.

thank you for sharing it.

Patti said...

It has been said that one can't help another without also helping him/herself... I'll bet it's difficult to imagine how you could be so generous while grieving such an impossible loss. You are an amazing woman...

Marilyn Rock said...

Art heals for sure and it's a wonderful way of expressing our feelings. Your painting is a marvelous expression of how you felt about your brother - beautiful! I've missed you! I'm trying to catch up with my fave blogs :) xxoo

CAROLYN SAXBY said...

I am so glad you have found a way to help your heart heal (if it ever can). Your paintings are wonderful. Sending you the hugest hug

xoxo

Manon Doyle said...

I'm so sorry to read about your brother, Cat. I have also found that art heals the heart in many unexpected ways. Your work is amazing. xo

Les Cotrions said...

Ciao Caterina! I'm so touched by your beautiful post! I think you're lucky to be able to paint your emotions! That's a marvellous gift! I like your paintings!!!
Vale

B.Held said...

your recent work seems even more beautiful (and wonderful) than usual :)

Karen Cole said...

beautiful paintings and a beautiful tribute

Texture galore!!!

Gerushia's New World said...

I'm so glad to see the healing and transformation that has taken place for you over the last year. That is such a wonderful thing. I know exactly how you felt over this last year. My mom passed away a year ago on June 22 after a long and very ugly illness. I'm still waiting for my light. Maybe next month?

Your blogs are fabulous, and I keep up with your Facebook as well.

Thanks for sharing your heart:
Kim
Gerushia's New World

Kimmie said...

I'm very sorry for the loss of your brother - and I know your post isn't about that. Thank you for the re-iteration of the healing power of self expression. Some things cannot be put into words but need to be said anyway. You have said beautiful beautiful things with your May canvases. I'm certain your brother would agree .....

Jay said...

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to your brother. It must have been so hard on your part. That is a beautiful canvass.
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